For Now

Patience is not my thing.

Unfortunately, I inhabit a world where patience is not merely a virtue, but a requirement. So I am forced to continue struggling against personal expectations that I live in a world where I already have friends, the capability of communication, the ability to cook, knowledge on running a start up non-profit in Africa, and other such vital skills. Until then, I sit on the squishy blue couch, in my cool home and listen to the crickets, birds, children, buses, birds, children and crickets as the day begins and ends in Kigali and do research. And this is strangely liberating. I have the freedom and the ability to read whatever articles I want, for however long I want, because there are no doctors appointments (fingers crossed), classes, coffee dates, or deadlines to meet.

But for now, I am grateful the gated home I live in and the three alternating guards who ensure my safety. The green lawn (I love green!) and ever faithful Gracie dog who inhabits the lawn. My choice of two bathrooms (one has water pressure, at the cost of temperature, the other warm water at the cost of water pressure), working stove, two refrigerators (that way I can keep moving my food around so as to stay entertained-or confused), bed net, bookshelf (complete with previously left books!) and the paper fireplace hanging on the wall (for a little taste of home).

I still have no means for obtaining cheese and lack a feeling of belonging and companionship. But if I have learned anything in the two days of literally sitting at work (Two desks, three people, two hours of literally just staring at the floor), it is why rush what will one day happen?

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2 thoughts on “For Now

  1. Elizabeth Scott says:

    oh dear Hannah. Speaking as another impatient person, my husband Mark (a saint in the department of patience) tells me to “just sink into it, embrace it” and is sort of works! In our frenetic western culture being, thinking, relating are sacrificed for endless amounts of activity.
    So here’s praying that you will sink into that impatience and embrace it and learn the value of doing “nothing”!

  2. Melissa Penner says:

    I can entirely empathize with your impatience! I don’t have more than an ounce of patience myself, and usually it isn’t enough. Like right now, I just want to find out whats going to happen in Egypt. Also, I just want to be mature and emotionally stable and grown up! Unfortunately that is all a looooooong way off…..

    But tell us more about your life there and what you’re learning!

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