Tag Archives: the art of being


Thank God for bareback riding experience. The strength in my thighs alone kept me on the back of the motorbike rumbling over pock-marked dirt roads winding themselves further and further into the Rwandan hillsides.

Turns out that spinning wheels and mud are not very complimentary. But jerking your body back towards a place of perceived balance is a guarantee for tipping the bike.  So I mold my body to the bike and rock with it as if we are one unit.  Fishtailing through mud holes and swerving around giant puddles, pastor, bike and myself slowly climb up the winding road from base to mountaintop; Dr. Seuss rhymes running through my mind as we go. “Up the side of Mt. Crumpet he rode with his load.”

I finally am getting out of Kigali, headed to my second “healing and reconciliation training workshop”.

Destination is top of the fuzzy mountain side in the distance

The way there was infinitely more fun than the way back I must admit. I finally arrive home an hour and half after leaving the church. Muddy, a little bit bloody (stupid trees), bruised, muscles beaten, and thoroughly exhausted. Starving with no desire to actually cook, but thanks to a general lack of roaming food vendors or local “fast food” shops I must cook. Raw bananas and a surplus of flour compose a lovely loaf of banana bread.  A pot of ginger tea and slice of bread later, my overly caffeinated and sugared body can process via writing.

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For Now

Patience is not my thing.

Unfortunately, I inhabit a world where patience is not merely a virtue, but a requirement. So I am forced to continue struggling against personal expectations that I live in a world where I already have friends, the capability of communication, the ability to cook, knowledge on running a start up non-profit in Africa, and other such vital skills. Until then, I sit on the squishy blue couch, in my cool home and listen to the crickets, birds, children, buses, birds, children and crickets as the day begins and ends in Kigali and do research. And this is strangely liberating. I have the freedom and the ability to read whatever articles I want, for however long I want, because there are no doctors appointments (fingers crossed), classes, coffee dates, or deadlines to meet.

But for now, I am grateful the gated home I live in and the three alternating guards who ensure my safety. The green lawn (I love green!) and ever faithful Gracie dog who inhabits the lawn. My choice of two bathrooms (one has water pressure, at the cost of temperature, the other warm water at the cost of water pressure), working stove, two refrigerators (that way I can keep moving my food around so as to stay entertained-or confused), bed net, bookshelf (complete with previously left books!) and the paper fireplace hanging on the wall (for a little taste of home).

I still have no means for obtaining cheese and lack a feeling of belonging and companionship. But if I have learned anything in the two days of literally sitting at work (Two desks, three people, two hours of literally just staring at the floor), it is why rush what will one day happen?

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